Grief is one of the most profound human experiences, yet as therapists, we know that supporting grieving clients isn’t always straightforward. Every individual processes loss differently, and understanding their emotions requires skill, sensitivity, and a deep understanding of grief’s complexities. Whether you’re new to grief counseling or looking to refine your approach, continuing education is key to offering the best support.
Understanding the key components of grief counseling, assists therapists in understanding each grief response, to cater to their approach around the client's needs. From responding to various grief responses to determining when to seek deeper intervention, the right knowledge and skills can make all the difference. If we keep our ear to the ground and continue to hone our approach, we can create a safe space for clients to process their loss in their own time.
What is Grief Counseling?
Most people eventually find their way through grief after a significant loss. However, when the pain becomes overwhelming or persists for too long, many turn to professional grief counselors for help. Clients often experience a mix of emotions—sadness, anger, confusion, even relief. Alongside these, feelings like guilt, regret, and profound sorrow are common, and without the right support, these emotions can become increasingly difficult to manage.
As therapists, it is our priority to assist our clients with processing their grief in a safe and manageable manner. With the right treatment, we can support them in processing their feelings, learning healthy coping strategies, and finding their way to healing.
Yes, grief is a personal experience, and while many people have ways that work for them to deal with loss, not everyone can get through those intense feelings. As therapists, we also know that grief can be intertwined with anxiety, depression or even post-traumatic stress, and that professional help is an important tool in the healing process.
How Therapy Supports Clients Through Grief
Some therapists have different approaches to grief, offering a wide range of treatments and interventions based on clients' needs. Two modalities with widespread usage that have been shown to be effective in aiding clients through grief are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Loss
CBT is a goal-oriented, research-supported strategy that assists clients in recognizing and reframing negative thought patterns that might be exacerbating their grief. Therapists guide clients in understanding these unhelpful beliefs regarding loss while encouraging the establishing of healthier coping mechanisms. Cognitive restructuring and behavioral activation are especially helpful in preventing grief from becoming complicated pain.
ACT For Grief Acceptance And Commitment Therapy
Another approach, ACT, applies a different lens that emphasizes mindfulness and acceptance instead. Instead of fighting painful feelings, this approach encourages clients to recognize and abide in their grief, and to act in congruence with their most sacred values. ACT’s six key processes enable clients to build psychological flexibility and move forward meaningfully.
Grief Counseling for Children
Therapeutic support for grieving children is different from the type of care you might offer an adult: It has to be developmentally appropriate. Younger children may not understand the finality of death, and older children may have difficulty dealing with feelings they do not yet have the words to articulate.
Therapeutic approaches like play therapy, art therapy, and narrative therapy give children safe, creative avenues to work through their grief. Through guided narrative, expressive drawing, or role-play, these strategies encourage children to express their grief externally and respond in the ways that feel most natural to them.
Grief counseling offers clients of any age tools to process their feelings in a safe and supportive environment. By incorporating evidence-based methods whilst tailoring techniques to the specific needs of the individual, therapists can help lead clients toward the path of healing in a way that respects their unique experience of loss.
The Different Types of Grief
Grief has different types and as a therapist, you must know how to identify and assess the different types of grief so that you can cater to the client's needs and offer the right support.
Anticipatory grief
Anticipatory grief is the act of grieving before the loss. For instance, you might start grieving when you find out you or a loved one has a terminal illness. You are not processing your grief in advance of needing it, but it can help you face the loss when it comes. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t let grief prevent you from savoring the limited time you do have.
Abbreviated grief
At times, you are able to blaze through the grieving process. This is abbreviated grief as it has been enshrined. Conflicting grief may follow abbreviated grief. You can mourn a loss quickly because you’ve already put in a lot of emotional labor in preparing for that loss. That grieving just a little doesn’t indicate that you never really cared about whomever or whatever you lost. We’re all on different timelines when it comes to grief.
Delayed grief
You’re late to the game, skipping the emotions that accompany grief right after a loss and feeling them days, weeks, or even months later. In some cases, the shock of the loss delays your body’s ability to process these emotions. Or perhaps you’ve been so busy dealing with the practical work that comes with loss (funerals and wills, for example) that your body won’t allow you to grieve until you’re done with these responsibilities.
Inhibited grief
Inhibited grief is the repression of emotions. To an extent, most of us haven’t learned how to process, or even how to identify, the confusing emotions that can accompany grief. As a result, many people who suppress their emotions don’t know they’re doing it. However, if you don’t let yourself pause and feel these emotions, grief typically manifests as physical symptoms such as an upset stomach, insomnia, anxiety, or even panic attacks.
Cumulative grief
With cumulative grief, you’re processing multiple losses all at once. For instance, you’re not just grieving the loss of a child. You’re mourning the end of a marriage that came after that loss. Experiencing multiple losses at once complicates grief in unpredictable ways.
Collective grief
When we most think of grief, we think of it as something personal, but collectives (groups) grieve as well. Big events like wars, natural disasters, school shootings and pandemics create cascading losses. They transform what is considered “normal” life. They mourn collectively through shared experiences.
Symptoms and Causes of Grief: A Guide for Therapists
Grief manifests in many ways, affecting clients emotionally, physically, and behaviorally. As therapists, understanding these symptoms can help tailor interventions to support clients through their unique grieving process.
Emotional Symptoms
Grief is often described as unpredictable, coming in waves. Clients may experience:
Intense sadness, anger, relief, or guilt.
Conflicting emotions, such as mourning a loss while feeling relief from a burden.
Emotional numbness or detachment.
Grief can take a toll on the body, activating stress responses that may lead to:
Fatigue, headaches, nausea, and digestive issues.
Heart palpitations and muscle or joint pain.
Appetite changes and sleep disturbances.
Behavioral Changes
Clients may struggle with daily functioning, including:
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
A sense of hopelessness or loss of direction.
Forgetfulness and trouble managing responsibilities.
Complicated Grief
In some cases, grief becomes prolonged or complex, requiring targeted therapeutic approaches. Factors that can contribute include:
Absent grief – Denial or lack of outward emotional expression.
Ambiguous loss – Lack of closure (e.g., missing persons, dementia).
Disenfranchised grief – Socially unrecognized grief (e.g., pet loss, overdose).
Traumatic grief – Loss intertwined with trauma (e.g., violent death, disasters).
When grief overwhelms your day-to-day life for a longer duration of time, you can experience avoidance, excess emotional numbness, or the inability to find meaning. Thus, requiring targeted and specialized treatments.
Wrapping Up
Grief is a very individual experience, and though therapists are not experts on how to grieve, you can create a safe and unapologetically compassionate environment for clients to work through their grief. Whether clients are coping with emotional distress, physical symptoms, or complicated grief, the evidence-based approaches of CBT and ACT can help therapists assist clients in being able to recover from their grieving process.
To further enhance your skills and support clients effectively, access Tiffany Dilworth’s live or on-demand courses designed for mental health professionals. She is a well-renowned psychotherapist and author who specializes in grief, PTSD, and sexual trauma.
Her courses provide advanced strategies, case studies, and interactive learning to deepen your understanding of grief counseling. Whether through live or on-demand courses, her training provides valuable insights and hands-on strategies to support both therapists and their clients in the journey toward healing. Start your journey to mastering complex trauma treatment today!
